I have a 2 year old (and a 4 month old as well). My husband works most of the day, but he does come home and I have him here on weekends, but other than that, I'm it for childcare. Let me tell you, I understand where you're coming from. I'm with my kids 24/7, too, and the only breaks I get are to shower or go food shopping. It's really hard, and I've had days where I wonder what it'd be like if I just left as soon as my husband got home. I'd never do it, but it's those moments of complete exhaustion and frustration and despair that make me think that way. What gets me through sometimes is just thinking that once they're in school (it'll be soon, enough, right?) that it won't be so hard. With each passing day, my 2 year old is getting more and more independent and that helps, too.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and would never do anything to intentionally harm them, but I find myself in those moments of extreme despair yelling and screaming for tiny little things that happen.
Before making any decisions about adoption (which is so final), can you talk to someone? If you work, most companies have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) that you can call for totally free and anonymously. I've also found talking to other moms and going out helps. Try taking your son to places where he can kind of go off on his own and you can hang out with other moms, like a library story time. You'll be able to keep your eye on him, but also won't have to be on top of him and can talk to other adults.How appropriate is it to give a 2 year old up for adoption?
I didnt get a chance to answer this question as an answer was chosen by the person already...but i was in tears the moment i read the question....if the lady is reading this ';pls dun do it to your son,you will regret it one day and it will be too late.';
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It sounds like your state of mind is too fragile to make such a life changing and serious decision! First get childcare (there is government assistance for single mother's working and going to school.) Then get help from a Dr. I'm all for adoption but not in this situation!
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He's still young, so if he is taught by his adoptive parent(s) that it was because you wanted a better life for him, he may not be traumatized. My friend was given up for adoption because her mom could not take care of her and she thanks God every day that her mother did that for her.
It's not about you, hun.Being a parent means sacraficing.
If you need a break, put your kid in child care for a few hours a day.If you are depressed, go see a doctor.
Giving your kid away just because you are down in the ditch right now is a PERMENENT decision.Life won't be crappy for ever.Things often get worse before they get better.Stick it out.
That is something that is between you and your son. That's not a question that you can just post on yahoo answers.If you honesltly believe that adoption is the better way for him that you should do just that. b/c there are plenty of couples out there in the world who can't have children and would love and support your son until adulthood. Just remember that it is never easy to part with ones you love, especially when they are your own flesh and blood. but, it is better for him to live in a capable family, than one full of strife.
i know a lot of people that were given up for adoption, some were adopted, some weren't. From what i have seen, it could traumatize him, he could end up having a learning disability, or be behind all of his peers and not be able to act appropriately socially. Unless babies are adopted as soon as they are born, i have seen so many problems. Giving him up for adoption just because you need a break is a little extreme, also if you think he deserves a better mom, then be that mom that you think he needs, your an adult and you control how you act towards him. You are his loving family and giving him up would just be you getting out of responsibility not doing what is best for your son. Why don't you save up a little money and hire a babysitter so you can go do something by yourself?
WTF. . .NO you should not give your son up for adoption!!! Do you think you are the only single mother who had to work a job and go to school at the same time? NO. Get some childcare, some medical help for your depression, and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You think you have it bad? My mom threw me out of the house when I was eight months pregnant! You might think that he won't remember, but trust me, he will. My grandmother died when I was two. I have memories of her tying my shoes and taking me to sunday school.
I think you are just trying to reassure yourself that you are making a good decision, but you arn't. You are being completely selfish. Sue your baby's father for childsupport, whatever you have to do. Don't make a terrible mistake just because you miss the good old days of being carefree and without responsibility.
well let me tell you something giving up your 2 year old for adoption well i think its not a good idea because you could just look for a baby sitter or get a job or get someone who could help you that cares for you nd your son and also i want to tell you something okay you dont have support or anything but its just heart braking becausee i love kids so much and im only 11 LOl but yea anyways dont give up for adoption if you know its heart braking and for reals adoption cmon well its your choice okay he deserves a loving family but cmon next thing you know that when hes older he will start looking for his mom but like i said its your choice but i love kids and i just dont think adoption is good but like i keep saying its your choice.... good luck on making it!!
The way I see it, there is nothing wrong or selfish in your motives for wanting to put your son up for adoption. Heck, if it was me, I might think these things myself. However, I think he should not be put up for adoption until the children's services tear him from your arms. In a couple years, he will be starting school, and things will get better. I suggest some councilling, because you may be suffering a bit from delayed postpartum depression. That, and the fact that your son has just reached the ';terrible twos'; stage (I'm not saying that he is a brat, or that he will be). Just hang in there. Are you part of a church? Because I remember from my church (I'm a United) that part of the vows as a church while a baby is being baptized is that the congregation vows to also help raise the child, if need be. If you go to a church, or even if there is one in your area, there is bound to be someone who can help you out, and find options.
i have 2 little girls and i could not imagine how they could handle being away from me. Go to a dr for help first.....somedays it gets hard with kids and you just want to be by yourself but i think most mothers with agree when i say that you will regret it.......you cant just give up your kids when things get hard....being a parent isnt always glamourous! i couldnt imagine life without my children.
It would be very difficult to give up at 2 year old but they would forget, do you remember anything when you were 2??
You feel trapped by your son, which isn't healthy for anyone. You need a break, you don't need your family to get a break from your son there are babysitters. You can do rotations with friends. There are plenty of options
What you really need to do is talk to a social worker about your feelings they my be able to help you get into some progams where you get child care for your son every so often.
I would also recommend you get a job if you don't already have on, in Canada the government covers most or all of your child care expenses if you are low income. A job is very liberating and gives you social interaction
I can tell from your details that you love your son, but you are feeling hopeless right now. You need some help overcoming your emotional down fall. Call a social worker.
You say you need a break, but don't you realize that the break will be forever? You would never see your son again. I know it's hard but you have to fight through this. For yourself and for your child. Doesn't your son have the right to be loved and cared for by his only mother?
Don't do that to your child. While growing up he'll wonder what was wrong with him that made is mother not want him. And what if he were to end up with a bad family?
Things may be hard right now, but it WILL get better.
God be with you -hunter
I had the same feelings and questions when my son was small. I wondered if another family with TWO parents could give him a better life. I used to look at the adoption ads in the paper and wonder if I should call. I never did. My son is now 19. He is a wonderful person who, although he has a disability, is the joy of my life.
It is a little late to place your son for adoption, although I am sure there are plenty of good loving families who would love to adopt him. He is bonded with you and it would cause irreparable damage if he were to loose you. There is help available for single moms (and dads). Call your local DHS office and ask for an appointment to get assistance with childcare. You might even be able to get help with housing so you can move into your own apartment.
Don't place your son for adoption, he loves and needs you...even with your faults.
Well he has known you for 2 years. It would be difficult at that age. Though a friend of mines mother adopted this kid who was 2 years old. He was actually taken away from his mother though at that age. But he adjusted just fine. He cried a bit but they were such a loving family that he came out of his shell and has been great. If you honestly really truly want to do this I'd find a family that has been trying for a kid but can't have one and develop a relationship with them and try being more of an aunt figure now. Like they take care of him most of the time but you still can see him and do stuff together. Or you can try to find someone who is ready for a kid and marry that person. Personally I'd try and find someone to help me take care of the kid. My friend's sister(a different friend) has 4 kids and her husband left her. But she went online and found a great guy that was getting out of the military that was ready to raise kids and didn't mind if they were his and they got married and have been happy for like 2 years now.
Have you tried daycare on the sliding scale, or have a trusted friend or neighbor try to watch him? Your family is no help to you, they should be glad you are trying to get your education so you can better provide for him and be willing to help you, if it fits into their schedule, we all need a break sometimes. You are doing great, besides you are doing what is in the best interest of your son. As far as the adoption is concerned, he would want to know more of your reasons for giving him up and he might want to find you when he gets older. But you can always keep in touch with the adoptive parents, if you choose to, (have an open adoption) so you would have no regrets about giving him to a family that would make sure that he is taken care of.
adoption is always appropriate
you are giving the child a better life than the one you could offer
you should never hold a child back if you know you can not help him to the fullest
do all that you can for your child
there are also such things as open adoptions where you are able to see the child
if you just can bear to give him up go to anger management and parenting sessions they will help you alot
look it up
It would be horrible! Maybe you think he diserves better but I dont think so. Your his MOTHER, and he loves you not some stranger! I may only be 14, but when I think about if my mom gave me up for adoption I think I would have been tramatized, angsty, and i dont think I would ever trust anyone again. And you love him to so its not like you hate him or anything. Don't feel guilty when your family insults you or what not in my opinion. Maybe you do need a break, ever think about hiring a babysitter? You can a cheap babysitter for like one day (you can find nice cheap babysitters) and you can go out and have fun for that day! Or you can put him in a day camp/pre-school! I dont know how old you have to be for pre school, but I remeber going to a public pre school and had a great time. there are more options! I hope you found this use full and wish you and your son find a good solution!
childcare hun, i do have a support system but they support me they dont take my daughter or anything, put him in childccare or find a babysitter, depending where you are there are government agencies which give you benifit money to help along, talk to them get some help you may have depression also from not doing hings you want to, but never never think to give up your child, its hard and any mother can understand that just some are not as strong as others and i get that babe.
research what sort of help you can get, go to mothers groups anything that will get you out and socialised.
while your motives make sense, i dont think that would be a very good idea. for many kids, two is about the age when they begin to remember things, something like being given up for adoption seems like it might scar a kid for life. however if u really think its the best thing than do it. a depressed angry mother might emotionally hurt a child more than being given up for adoption. however u should probably think about the type of family he will end up with, theres a shortage of adoptive parents, and most people are looking for babies that they can raise as there own. you may not be the best mother ever but your son could end up growing up in an orphange or switching from foster family to foster family and that would be an even less stable home environment
Completely inappropriate. You son has bonded with you and unlike having a parent die, he will know that he you have 'given him away.' You might not see it that way but he always will. And sorry to say, if you're irritated that he's with you 24/7 that's just too bad 'cuz that's a mom's job. My husband %26amp; I had a babysitter (for going out for fun purposes) ONCE during his first 10 years.
Read up on 'bonding with older adoptees' and see how f'ed up they are; it's sad because you know the adoptive parents are trying their best and it's really no one's fault (not yours either) but those are just the facts. Have you spoken with anyone in DHS? What about church? If you're really in bad shape, how about contacting a reputable adoption agency (pls. do a thorough search) and perhaps you can have an open adoption.
i didnt read it only the question but i have a two yr old son and he is so attach to me he cries whenever i leave him for a couple of hrs so yeah it will be so sad for the little boy or girl
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