How can you deal with a break up when he is in Iraq & he broke it off?

He is my cousin's sgt %26amp; he hooked us up! He is divoirced %26amp; has a kid %26amp; once he got in Iraq he started thinking about everything!! So then he wants to make things work with his ex...which is great! But now he don't know what he wants!!!! He says tha he doesn't have any feelings for her anymore but she won't leave him alone!!!! Not to mention that she was the one who wanted the divorce!!!This has been going on for 8 months now....Does anybody any advice for me or him!!! I do care a lot for this man!!!! HELP!!!!How can you deal with a break up when he is in Iraq %26amp; he broke it off?
Let him come home then deal with it once he is no longer facing life and death issues. who knows one day he might be carrying some bloody kid and it rocks his world, or he is facing people shooting at him day in and day out, and by pushing you away he may see it as a way of protecting you and the family if he dies. ( sorry no one said soldiers in combat were rational people. )





It sounds like classic case of ';post tramatic stress disorder';. very common in soldiers in combat situations. The problem is we all handle fear differently. who knows it may be the first time he is truely afraid not for him self but for his family if he should be killed. WHo knows by venting( talking crazy) on the phone to you it may be his way of facing the fear so he can go back into the field and do his job. The best thing you can do is humor him for now until you can talk it out back home.





when talking online ot by phone let him speak his peace. don't fight his opinion. ';';AND DONT BE HURT BY WHAT HE SAYS';'; You can respond by saying ';what ever you think is best hun.'; We can discuss it when you come home ok.


Then once he is home. By being calm and rational it will help him refocus, you cannot solve the issue until you can talk face to face so you might as well help him survive until you can. then when he is home you can deal with it. IT may require counciling to get to the root cause but it can be worked out.





Just remember this what ever happens in Iraq should stay in Iraq. and Don't hold it against him once he comes back. we all do irrational things when we are in survival mode.





Read the books listed below. Esp. The 5 love languages it can help.How can you deal with a break up when he is in Iraq %26amp; he broke it off?
this is a hard one..if he's over there for a year..he has plentey of time to think....ask him who he misses more you or her..men are so confusing i tell ya..ask him what he wants you to do..move on or wait but if ya wait for him he can't change his mind and go back with her..really this is all up to him..he needs to look in his heart ..but he can't have you here waiting around going crazy till he figures out what he wants..thats unfair to you so tell him straight up he needs to think for a week or so and tell you what the hell he wants...sorry im not being of much help..i'd be frustrated if i were you ...good luck
in the same situation except she is female really cant talk publicly but will be will to email you and talk at hosingit4u@yahoo.com hope to hear from you
Write him and tel him that he needs to speak with his ex about this as soon as he can.
I think maybe he is trying to do what is best for his little one. He needs to follow his heart though, not his head. You only live once and that one life you have should be the happiest you can make it. Tell him to follow his heart, but tell him that you are not going to wait forever then leave him alone. He will come around hopefully soon and tell you a definate answer. Hounding him will more than likely have adverse affects. Dont push him towards his ex by bugging him.