How to deal with a future daughter in law that doesn't know the value of money?

**You may have read this before**





I think my son fiance is a great girl. She's very polite, generous, smart, well mannered and good at everything she does. I only have one concern and that is how she spend money. I noticed that everything she use are expensive brands. I know that she came from an old money family and is use to the finest things in life but I'm not use to that and I'm afraid that this can in the future ruin my son financially. I kind of pointed out to my son a while ago (before they got engaged) and he was like '; I can't tell her how to spend her money.'; It makes me feel iffy knowing that my son have no control and will have no control of how she spend the money. I don't want them to go broke later.





She's an only child so her family is giving her everything... the car, the house, saving account. I give her some credit for working and make 6 figures but she needs to know to spending them wisely and her family handing her everything doesn't help her grow up and because more responsible financially.





Should I say something? Should I tell him to at least keep a separate account?How to deal with a future daughter in law that doesn't know the value of money?
Coming from an old money family she probably already have too many stinking rocks. I think she values your son more than that clear rock. Coming from an upper class myself, I can tell you that it is a lonely place and it's not easy finding true love when you're up there. I think she just feel grateful that she have found true love...aka your son. You should be happy for her and stop judging her every move.How to deal with a future daughter in law that doesn't know the value of money?
SAY NOTHING...coming from my MIL that just pushed her son away for trying to CONTROL him, and talking badly of me.its not your business, its not your place. this is his fiance and he knows everything you do. its time to trust in him and let him do his own. Cut the cord, and hope for the best.
Stay out of their business. Be happy that your son has found someone he wants to spend his life with. If she is making 6 figures then she can darned well buy whatever brands she chooses. Sounds like she was being considerate of your son's more limited finances by choosing a less expensive engagement ring. Don't be one of those meddling MILs. I think he's probably found a great girl, be happy!
As others have said, stay out of it. Love your daughter in law for who she is and that's it. You don't need to voice your concerns or try to change her in any way. That will only create animosity between you. Please don't do that for your son's sake.





It also might help if you had your son stop telling you things like the cost of the ring she chose. You can lavish whatever praise you want to give on whatever she buys without knowing what it costs. I'm not saying it's not your business, but... It really isn't your business, especially when it bothers you.
It is not your place to say anything to her regarding her spending habits. You have already spoken to your son, so it is time to let it be. Whether they want an acct. together or not will be up to them. Allow them to make mistakes and learn from them. Sure you don't want them broke later on, but I think that with you already speaking to your son and if he sees things getting bad, he will speak up.
You didn't mention if your son's income was comparable to hers. Hopefully it is. I have one word for you.





Trust.





Trust that they will find their own way.


Trust that they love each other.


Trust that they are aware of and embrace their differences.


Trust that you raised a great kid.


Trust that they will both have courage to adapt to each other.


Trust that they are both bright enough to figure it out.





She lives in a different world then you do, it's foreign and goes against the things you were taught - that does not mean it's wrong.





I remember when I was first married. We were both making very good money. One night my husband casually said we really need new pillows. The following day I went to Bloomingdale's and bought 2 pillows for $125.00 ea. I had never bought pillows before. Seemed reasonable and they were really nice. He flipped when I told him how much they were. I was in tears and called my mom. She told me something that I'll remember forever. ';Money more then anything is very emotional to alot of people just be quiet about what you spend even to your husband.'; It was at that moment I realized that stuff was stuff and every thing I bought was ';On Sale';.





I still have the same Kitchenaid mixer I got then and the same good china, pots, silver and knives - the same pillows that held up through numerous washes ectra. Those very expensive purchases have lasted 1/2 a lifetime. My dishtowels are made by TAG and you can not kill them $12.00 ea.





Trust.
your son is an adult, she works and makes her own money, and ultimately it is really not any of your business their money matters. sorry to be so blunt but i think you should just stay out of the money thing. if your son doesn't come talk to you about it don't worry about it.
You have already made your point, and you heard your


son's response. He is an adult and you will have to


be satisfied with that. Oh, and congratulations.
Don't meddle in your son's life. That is the fastest way to get your future grandchild visitation rights taken away from you. What should it matter to you anyhow?? It doesn't sound like she needs to be taken care of either and that she is fine on her own. Also, so what if she picked out a cheap engagement ring? Obviously she is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't by you. I mean, you complain about her spending too much money, and then you complain about her frugality on one of the most important events of her life. If she is willing to be frugal on that, then I'll be she will be willing to spend money wisely in the future as well when it concerns more important issues. I just think you are being an overprotective parent. Let your son grow up, he is a big boy now.





Edit: Your son said he can't control how she spends HER money. He didn't say he wouldn't be able to have any input on how she spends THEIR money though. I am sure your son has a good enough head on his shoulders to know when she has gone in excess. She may even keep a sep. acct. for herself so she can splurge without having to ask for permission.
My boy friend is like that with money and for a long time it would just make my jaw drop to watch his spending habits. I come from a lower to middle class family so I wasnt used to those kinds of spending habits. He comes from old money as well. Let it go. Dont say anything. That would make things so much worse. She works and has her own money and should be able to spend it as she wishes. Thats what ive done. Im telling you stay out of it only bad will come from interfering with your sons affairs.