How to deal with a lying, sneaky teen!!!?

I have a 16 yr. old. She lies quite often. The thing is, sometimes I catch her. ';Sometimes!'; For example, her cell phone is broken so they sent her a new one. It has to be activated at the store. Her dad pays for her service. (We are divorced.) She asked me if I would take her, on a Friday to get it activated. I had so much to do. (By the way, I homeschool her. So she is will me ALL THE TIME.) Anyway, when I told her that I didn't have time, she ask her stepdad. We have a landscaping business, and I suppose she thinks that we can just put clients off to do whatever she wants us to do for her. He told her no also. At that point, she text her 'step-uncle';, who is my husbands twin brother. I have told the kids that they are not to get in a car with him, as he drinks quite often. At any given time of the day. He told her that he would take her. The ';step-uncle'; told my husband that he was taking her and my husband called and told me that she was going to ask if she could go to a friends house, who lives right behind us and have his brother come there to pick her up. (My husband agrees that the kids shouldn't be in the car with his brother.) While my daughter and I were out she said that she told her friend that she would be at her house at 3:15 to layout with her. I simply busted her on it. This isn't the first time that she has lied!! She asked if she could spend the night with another friend on Valentine's weekend, and needless to say the childs parents were out of town and there was a party. The police were called and all of the kids ran out the back door. They tracked down a few of the kids by running the tags on their cars and calling the parents. The friend that the rode to the party with, her parents were called. So, they called me and said they had their daughter, but had no idea where my daughter was. TALK ABOUT FEAR! I have been reading that if you just ground them for lengths of time, it teaches them to just ';serve a sentence'; and they really learn nothing. HELP! What should I do? How do I keep her from trying to sneak around? She will text whomever, to do the sneaking. If I take her phone away, supposedly, it teaches them nothing. You are supposed to take something away for a day until they can prove themselves. Really???!!! She will prove herself. Then turn around and do it again. This is a very sneaky child that I am dealing with here. The other problem is her dad. He doesn't help with discipline because he doesn't want to deal with it. So it is all left to me, and when she does go to his house everything goes out the window! H E L P!How to deal with a lying, sneaky teen!!!?
I thing you should talk to her dad about everything and both agree on punishment, set her down and tell her what the punishment is and how long its going to be. If you take her phone away for 2 months and when you return it to her after the 2 months tell her that next time she tells a lie and you or her dad find out you will take her phone away for good!


Take away something different every time!


Threaten to send her to an all girls school!How to deal with a lying, sneaky teen!!!?
Start taking things from her. Like her cell phone. I would always DIE when my parents would take mine away.
I have raised 3 teens and I can assure you, you are not alone. There is no sure method to resolve your problem but something has to get their attention. Currently my teen is grounded for 45 days (not a few days)--no cell phone, no internet, no car keys. His behavior and attitude has been 'building' for a few weeks and he was caught lying and skipped school for the first time. Teens are very clever in testing your boundaries and you must remain firm and be consistent. It is evident that the other 'adults' in your circle are not helping you with this child and you have to do something about limiting her access and interaction with them. You have your work cut out for you. When the punishment is assigned, remind your teen that she brought this on herself as a result of a bad decision resulting in a consequence. Only until they experience the consequence will a change occur. This means that you will have to be continually vigilant. You must insist on civility and honesty. Respect has to be earned. I tell my teens that if they do not choose to use their minds in school, then they will work with their hands. Sometimes punishment is hard manual labor. Enforcing the punishment is harder on me but I maintain my stance and get through it. The child will pass through stages of anger and depression and make you feel guilty but eventually the attitude will change and a lesson will be learned. Hold your ground. Hang in there. I still have over a month left of my teen's punishment. I have got his attention because he knows I mean business and never back down. Good luck.
Take away her cell phone for 2 weeks. That was the worst punishment my mum ever gave me! =[
Take away her laptop, works for me!
oh dear,


well okay this is my idea. you need find her ';currency'; something that is more valuable than friends or a phone and take it away. does she play a sport? take that. does she love her 'guitar'? take that. oh! how about her clothes? or money? take that. you are in control here. and grounding is sufficent if you dont put a time limit on it, if you ground her, just say its until further notice (not for like a week).another idea is if she pulls a stunt like this again, keep her in her room all day with nothing, no cell, tv, games, NOTHING. but thats only if your super mad/desperate.





good luck ;)
First, teenagers are sneaky and lie for a reason. The reason usually is that they do not believe that telling you the truth will get them anything but NO as an answer. Second, you need to realize that up until now, your teen has lived by y-o-u-r value system. It is natural for them to test the values that they have had to live by to find out for themselves if what you hold to be true is actually true. In this testing, they learn what t-h-e-i-r values are, and when a value becomes theirs, they will stand by it. Sit down with her and explain that you are willing to allow her to learn her life lessons within the boundaries of love and support. Tell her that she needs to be honest with you because your main concern is to keep her safe and out of trouble. Let her know that you understand her wanting some freedom to choose for herself, but that there is a trade-off... she must be honest with you about where she is going and what she is going to do. This includes parties where there may be influences that you would rather she not be around ( drinking and drugs). Be willing to bring her and pick her up. If she makes a poor choice, sit down and calmly explain why it was wrong. Teens are going to do things regardless of how hard any parent attempts to stop them. They will find a way. Your daughter has found that lying is successful in attaining her desires. When she comes to you and asks to attend a party, ask her to be honest with you about what might be available to her. Talk about what choices she has, and what the consequences might be. ( jail, pregnancy, hangover, etc.) If you ';smother'; rather than ';mother';, when she leaves home, she will go crazy doing things that she has felt she missed out on. Instead, allow her some mistakes now while you can still guide her. All teens experiment, and you need to know and acknowledge this. When my children were in this age, we had an agreement. If they were at a place where there was drinking, or anything like that, they were to NOT drive, or get into a car with someone that was under the influence. They were to call us, and we would come and get them, no questions asked. It was a ';get out of jail free'; card, so to speak. My husband and I talked about what was important, and keeping our children safe was tantamount. We would rather have a puking, hungover child, than a dead one. This time in your parenting life is the most difficult, but it can be the best, too, if you attempt to understand your daughter, and she attempts to understand you. But, that only comes through talking things through without putting the other on the defensive. Good luck to both of you. Is it possible that she is doing this to get her ';share'; of the attention she desires? Often middle children feel like they have to be different to get the attention they perceive the oldest and youngest receive. Another possibility... could she be wanting you and her father to get together? I am sorry to hear that your attempts have ended in such distress. Without both parents on the same page, it is very hard to solve the problem. I am going to go out on a limb and say that your daughter is not as much of a problem as her daddy is.